I am curious...when the topic of money comes up, do you 'space out', feel defensive, get distracted, suddenly need to take a nap, take 'flight' or some other interesting response?
Or maybe it isn't the 'everyday' topic of money... but it comes up when you think about asking for a raise, increasing your rates, finalizing your will. Doing taxes. Getting life insurance.
Each and every one of these 'topics' can be an alarm to our nervous system - triggering a fight response (defensiveness...). Or a flight response (actually "taking flight" or through distraction - suddenly needing to respond to your aunt's email about the family reunion happening....next year). And for some, it looks like a shut down response (yawning, wanting to lay down for a nap, 'spacing out'). AND they are all normal physiological, unconscious responses to something 'threatening'... normal, but not necessarily helpful.
The nervous system fascinates me - personally, and professionally.
Tanya and I created the Yoga +...
There are many practical, logistical, strategic, action-oriented steps that we need to take in our own financial lives: getting paid, saving/investing, paying the bills, paying down debt, creating spending plans...
Each of these is important.
The recipe for building wealth is, quite honestly, pretty simple: earn more, save/invest more, spend less spend consciously (more on that distinction another day…).
This is the simplest recipe I know for attaining - and maintaining - financial wealth.
Simple - but by no means easy. Each one of the three has its own layers… its own complexity… its own hurdles to cross: both visible and invisible; personal and institutional.
The statistics are bleak when you examine race, gender, class, and ability. We don’t arrive at the ‘wealth...
Are you caught up in the wild and productive inspiration of the Tidying Up show? Marie Kondo is sweeping the nation - and inspiring a wave of Spring Cleaning well before the Spring is even here.
I read her book years ago - and got as far as my clothing. But I will say, its 4 years later and my socks are still neatly folded and separated in lovely lined boxes. It will soon be cliche, but it most certainly sparks Joy each time I get dressed.
Having order, calm, and yes - even reverence - for my clothing is a revelation. I recently did my sewing room (if you are on Instagram, perhaps you followed along in my stories... @tendedwealth). And I have kept it very neat ever since, even after multiple sewing projects have littered the floor.
What I appreciate the most about her style is this: she wants the discerning / discarding to be the individual's own process. She encourages each person to determine what is relevant, and meaningful, and...
It is so much fun to give - particularly when we find just the right gift for someone we love.
One of the best strategies for to stay financially grounded during the holidays is to create a holiday spending plan… aka, a spending roadmap.
It isn’t as fancy as it sounds - if you have never made one before, it is simply a list of categories you are likely to spend on. With the amount you plan to spend beside it.
Total it up to ensure you will have the funds to cover all that you are planning. Don’t panic if it is more than you realized… you haven’t spent the money yet, and there is time to course correct. If debt has been an issue in past...
Is your inbox as full as mine? Black Friday! Cyber Monday! Giving Tuesday!
And so here we are... fully immersed in the holiday season before we have even turned the calendar to December.
I won't lie. It all makes me tired. It is a quick pull away from this moment - a grounded sense of enough. Of plenty. It reminds me just how quickly we can get pulled off center.
It isn't necessarily negative - so much that is being offered is lovely, worthy, helpful, and fun! It is just that there is an incessant pace to all of it at this time of year. This is the first ingredient of the storm.
It is the season of over-spending, over-eating, over-drinking, over-committing, general over-indulging. Each one of these has an effect on your financial wellbeing. Combined, it creates a bit of internal chaos.
This time of year also holds emotional highs and lows - for many of us this time is laced with sorrow or nostalgia for what was, or isn't. This is another layer of the storm - and...
We all need to wear clothing... and for so many of us, it is more than just covering our bodies and being warm - it is about expressing ourselves. Spending money on clothes can be thrilling. Expressive. Sometimes guilt-inducing - but of course - necessary.
It is an area that gets confusing - where there is often a blurry line between 'need' & 'desire'. We tend to be more vulnerable to overspend when we aren't clear - making impulsive decisions that may be filled with later regret.
I want to invite you to take a look at your closet and approach buying new clothing from an intentional, thoughtful, 'slow money' perspective - where it feels really good to wear what you buy! I want you to LOVE what you wear and spend without guilt.
The steps below help you get there.
Because I am so tired of our culture wasting on all the levels - wasting MONEY, wasting RESOURCES, wasting TIME, wasting SPACE, ...
Do YOU run from money??
“Oh no, not me, [you say] – I love money!”
But perhaps the answer isn’t so simple. You see, sometimes we turn our backs when things get hard – when things aren’t quite as easy, or nearly as pleasant, as we would like. [Ahem]
Being in a relationship with money requires we are there, for better or worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health.
Which is work. And it’s HARD. And it makes any of the below really, really difficult to face:
Those unopened bills oppressing you daily with their very presence on the counter…
The student loan debt that you just can’t bear to look at – the balance unrecognizable from the amount you borrowed in the first place…
The dread of speaking to your accountant and finally knowing the amount you owe for last year’s taxes (so you just forget to return their calls and miss some critical...
I have Virgo in my chart, so this time of year always feels like a refreshing return to Order & Routine - aka, a giant sigh of relief pour moi! The back to school supplies definitely add to my mood - sharpened pencils, fresh notebooks - a fresh start that all of us (in this country, anyway) have in our bones, like it or not.
But when you think of allllllll the classes you attended over alllllll the school years, was even ONE of them about money??? About the practical nuts and bolts? (if you were lucky you learned how to balance a checkbook). How about addressing the emotional aspects of money?? I would like to think that there is at least *one* person somewhere who was lucky enough to receive guidance about the emotional side of money in school, but I know there probably isn't a single one.
We teach sex education (poorly in most cases, but at least it is taught), so why not personal finance? Why is this? Why has this virtually disappeared from the curriculum, when...
Are you turned off by the idea of a 'budget'? I know I am... and I know most of my clients are too. It may sound like the same medicine, just wrapped up in a fancy bottle, but a Spending Plan is philosophically very different. Let me explain...
Money touches every aspect of our lives. It is usually involved, to some degree, in helping us create a life that is meaningful. Being intentional - and conscious - about where your money WILL be spent becomes a powerful exercise in reclaiming some say.
Too often - and despite our very best intentions - we find ourselves at the end of the month (or year!) wondering: where did all that money go? (a worthy question, but one that can also keep you stuck in shame, blame, frustration, and guilt).
Instead, try a new approach. It is the 1st the month, a perfect time for a fresh start!
Sit with your calendar and a piece of paper. After you pay your bills and address all the static expenses, look beyond to what will be happening AND what you...
You know when time feels surreal? When you wake up in the day you have anticipated for so long - perhaps with excitement, sadness, or dread. And then there it is. The Day.
Today I woke up and took my oldest daughter to school for the last day of her senior year. I have been preparing myself on many levels - but when it finally arrived, preparation seemed irrelevant. I found myself choking on tears as I turned the corner. I know logically it isn't any real end... she is still living with us, she will still come home this fall, and we leave for a 3 week trip to Europe together in just a couple weeks. But it is an ending.
I took her out for breakfast - something we rarely do. We talked about college, how she wants to approach it, what inspires her. It was dreamy in every way. The me of 10 years ago would have been anxious to spend money this way - fearing it would mean we couldn't buy a tank of gas. It is why I recently added a category in my own spending plan for 'one on one time...